Be a slicer.
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I sit here wordless with so much to say. I want to tell you about all their challenges. I want to tell you about my fears. How will I do this...how will I? Needs that go beyond my bounds of knowledge. Needs that I am tackling one at a time. Files thick with accommodations and gaps for me to fill. Feeling strapped for energy and changing plans moment by moment. Playing instruments for 20 minutes instead of reading because that's what one student wanted to do, so we did it with her, she was a part of us for a moment. Interpreting hand gestures from another who is determined to speak. Cradling the tired one, hugging the criers and singing all day because the indescribable ones don't look at me otherwise. Intervening before the hitting. Showing tolerance toward anger. Smiling. Cheering for the triumphs even when they seem small. Moving past the failures. Encouraging pride. And telling myself over and over again that each day is better and my only option is hope, there is no alternative.
I am listening to this with two different ears...first the friend who just wants to give you a hug and say that I'm proud of you for how you are handling all you have on your plate. Then the other ear that hears both the fear and the acceptance, the wonder and the hope. These are the things that make you the teacher you are, the teacher I want for my children.
ReplyDeleteBless you for the good work you do every day. And thank you for being so honest here, too.
ReplyDeleteDuring those times that it felt like it was going to be so hard to keep going as my students' teacher, I borrowed the words from the Little Engine That Could. "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can..." I would repeat those words over and over to myself and you know what, things always worked out. Things will work out for you and your kids, too, Betsy!
ReplyDeleteOh Betsy, it does sound so challenging, but the things you shared show that there is hope & that you are making things work a step at a time. One of my first classes was similar (a long while ago) & I began to record, in a list, those stops, like your drumming. It made me feel like there was a path we were taking, & that some things were working. Best to you in your wonderful work as a teacher!
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