Sharing a Laugh

For about a week now, my husband, he's a high school teacher, has been participating in a Goose Chase with colleagues. He is on a team with three other people, and each person is to complete three challenges per day. There are six teams in all. The challenges vary in many ways, from dressing up as characters, eating tacos on a Tuesday, or smelling flowers. It has been fun for our family to help him accomplish his different challenges. For my final slice today, I thought you all might enjoy a laugh from my favorite amateur comedian, my husband, Shawn!

Eat a taco. Bonus points if it's on a Tuesday. 

Find a coin from 1999.

Locate at least five different sports balls. 

Go surfing on an ironing board.

Wear protective gear.

Happy Gilmore: Show us your best golf swing. 

Take care of the environment.

Dress up like a Game of Thrones character.

As you can see, we've been having fun watching him and helping him with these challenges. It has lightened us up and made us laugh. I wish you many more laughs as April starts tomorrow. I thank you for being part of this challenge with all of us. I am always grateful to be part of such a wonderful group of writers, listeners, and learners. 

Recipe Alert!

I was perusing recipes online. I absolutely love watching videos of food being made. I feel like a preteen watching Youtube loops. However, the other day I came across a recipe from my childhood. I quickly printed it out in hopes I would make it soon.

Today I was reminded of the recipe and decided it was a great day to make it. The recipe is something I used to make all the time as a kid. It's called Wacky Cake and not only is it the easiest from scratch cake to make it is VEGAN! No dairy and no eggs.

It starts with the basic dry ingredients, flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt.


This recipe did not call for three wells in the dry mix, but my mom taught me this when I first learned to make Wacky Cake. Back then, I'm pretty sure it was a third cup of water, oil, and vinegar. One in each well. I followed this recipe for the amounts, which are slightly different. That said, I still made the wells because it felt right.


I even used my old fashion whisk, the fork!



Into the parchment-lined and flour-dusted pan.

After the cake was baked and cooled, I went a step further and looked for a vegan vanilla frosting.

I found a recipe and had all the ingredients but I felt like it might be a bit too sweet or just a single note kind of frosting. Then I remembered my last sleeve of Thin Mints was in the cupboard. Did you know Thin Mints are vegan? They are! I crushed up a few cookies, ate a few cookies and got back to the frosting.

When it was finally, I was pretty happy with it. A single layer, no celebration, weekday cake. Something I never do. Something I should maybe do more often. Dessert is a bit of joy on a plate. One we might begin enjoying more often these days.

Seeing the Joy

During, what is historically a challenging time in our world as a whole, I was comforted by the joy in my daughter's face yesterday.

Friday night I sat in our basement cutting out cardstock balloons, thirteen of them, because I couldn't go to the store to buy any. Too risky.

I wrapped thirteen gifts, some were candy, hair ties, some were special things she had been wishing for.

I stacked them all up on the couch for her the morning of her birthday while she got dressed and ready for video calls, presents, and photos.

She was so happy. I sometimes wish I could capture joy and save it in a reserve somewhere for those moments when joy is needed. But instead, I have to find joy in memories, in future joys to come, and in the hope that there will always be joy.

May these pictures of a happy thirteen-year-old bring you some joy.

Today I Bake

Today is my daughter's thirteenth birthday. She is the baker in the family. Mostly incredibly delicious and decorative cupcakes, brownies, cookies, or candy treats. Those are her favorites. When she was little, we made her cakes at home. When she got older, and we got busier, we bought cakes from the bakery or grocery store. I haven't baked a cake for quite a while.

For her thirteenth birthday, she wanted me to bake her cake. Now, if circumstances were different, she probably would have just picked it out, but the option was, "Do you want me to bake it, or do you want to bake it?"
She wanted to be surprised. I was glad to be the surpriser but also a little nervous my skills would be rusty.

I got my parchment cut to a circle and greased my pans, then dusted the side with flour. So far, so good.

Getting them out was a bit nerve-wracking but went incredibly better than expected. 

I let them cool a very long time and whipped my frosting up to lighten the color and texture. Then came time get them on the platter, stack, and frost. 

Again, surprisingly, this went super well. I did forget to do a crumb coating first, but it worked out okay, and I moved forward anyway. 

Then came the sprinkles, which was super fun, and super messy, and I'll likely find sprinkles for days even after sweeping, wiping, vacuuming, and running the rumba. Yes, all of those, in that order. Still finding those little pearls. 

But, as you can see, I did not go light on the sprinkles. They had to be everywhere! And they are. My girl deserves it. It will be a moment of happiness on this happiest of days, even amongst the sad craziness that continues outside. 

What Day is It?

Have you seen those memes on Facebook that say something like, "I don't know who needs this but it's [insert the current day's name]?"

I laughed at those. It's funny how when you are home, days begin to all blur together. We've been doing pretty good keeping track, or so I thought.

Elliot is my son. Shawn is my husband-his dad. This conversation had me laughing tonight.

Elliot: "It's Tuesday."
Shawn: "Huh? No, it's Friday. Wait, what day do you think it is?"

Elliot: "It's like Tuesday or Wednesday."
Shawn: "No, it's Friday."

Elliot: "No, it is not dad," as he walks back up the stairs.

Me, casually: "Uh, yes, it is Friday."

Clomp, clomp, clomp.

Elliot: "What, wuh?

He comes back down the stairs and looks at me with that crooked eyebrow "huh" face he always makes.

Elliot: "It's Friday? No way."

Me, laughing, "Yes, it is."

Elliot: "How? Oh my gosh. How"--looks at the whiteboard, squinting, like as if it's going to change somehow. "Yep, Friday. Huh, I had no idea."

Today I...

Today I...

Video chatted with a student
Got out my trumpet and played for a solid ten minutes
Went outside in above 50 degree weather
Watched the rain from my kitchen
Cleaned the dust off the top of my desk shelves
Folded a load of towels
Made spaghetti sauce
Read some blogs
Decided not to watch any news programs
Looked at Petfinder.com
Wrote three online lessons for student bloggers
Listened to my Governor address the state
Wrote two letters to students
Sat in my recliner
Thought about what to say today
Slice number 26.

A Stay-at-Home Vacation Poem

Vacationing In My Mind

If I angle the lamp just right,
close my eyes
it almost feels
like hot sun on my face.

If I breathe just right
in the foggy bathroom
it almost feels
like the humid mist of a Florida morning.

If I squint just right
looking out the back window
It almost feels
like I'm camping in the woods.

If I sit just right
tucked in the corner of my couch
it almost feels
like I'm surrounded by my family.

If I listen real close
if I let myself dream
it almost feels
like I can keep doing this.

Connecting

I've been getting pictures of letters and notes from my students for the last few days. It's been so lovely to hear from a few of them. If I've received a handwritten note, I'm responding with a handwritten note and emailing a photo back. Three of my students, two of which are former students, have reached out via Google Docs. It's nice to be able to have a conversation like interaction.

I went out to get the mail today and saw my neighbor filling her bird feeders. We chatted for a few minutes staying in our own yards. The interaction was brief, but it was nice to see her doing well. She said they were hanging in there.

Today, Clare and Melanie hosted a Zoom meeting to connect educators. I listened as teachers talked about their concerns and current situations. I didn't have advice or anything to add to the conversation, but it was nice to be part of something with people.

I got to my slice late tonight. I've been working on different things all day today. No naps today, but I accomplished quite a bit. I didn't get my outdoor exercise, though, which I hope to do tomorrow. I also hope I see a neighbor. I also hope I get a letter from a student. All the ways I can connect, I hope for.

Basic Problems

Today I woke up early. Monday morning was called a snow day by the superintendents/principals/teachers of the house.

We just couldn't. 

I had report cards to finish, and I just did not think I would be able to hold my own children accountable for their work today. Did I mention we had a minor flood in the upstairs bathroom? Yeah, not great. But, not earth-shattering either. 

Let me clarify by saying, we are pretty chill at Hubbard House already, it's very much an, explore what's important to you and PLEASE read kind of environment.

That said, we are trying to do what we can as parents, as teachers, as humans. 

Our state is now in a new phase of shut-down mode. It's so weird. I couldn't have even imagined. 

My daughter has a birthday on the 28th, and I'm over here thinking about how to make it as memorable as this pandemic situation the whole world is in. 

One idea I had was to make a sign for our driveway that says, "Honk for the birthday girl." That way, it doesn't say how old she is, but my neighbors will likely know who I'm talking about, and the honks might be fun. I thought, maybe I'll email her friends, family, etc., see if they could drive by, wave, and honk. It would be something. 

It's her thirteenth birthday. We were going to have a party. She was going to have friends over, and they were all going to have matching pajamas and too much pizza. She was probably going to make treats, and I was going to buy the best birthday cake this town had to offer. Now I'm just hoping I can get a cake mix somewhere, somehow. I don't even own cake pans. But, I haven't totally given up. I am resourceful, and I'm sure we will come up with something. We have a whole bunch of sprinkles if nothing else, thanks to my baker daughter extraordinaire and her stockpile.  

As I write this, the snow is almost all melted. The streets are quiet. The kids have been on electronics too much today. And my basement ceiling has a wet line across a large section. 

Eh, oh well. Kind of basic compared to the important stuff. 

My Daughter Got Me

Yesterday I was suspicious. Everyone in the house seemed to be IN on something that I was not aware of.

Are they surprising me with something?
Will I scream?
Will I be mad? A joke, gone wrong.

I should trust them a bit more, but I think the current situation has me rattled, and I assumed something was going on that would end badly.

It continued, my husband, reassured me, "Don't worry, she's just being creative."

It was my daughter. She was behind this and acting strangely, running back and forth in the house. I was working on my computer at the time and distracted.

"Three o'clock, movie time."
We were getting ready to watch Forrest Gump, settling into the couch and chairs downstairs.

About two-thirds of the way into the movie, I realized my planned side dish for dinner, South Korean Slaw was not mixed together yet.

"I'll be right back, I promise. I just forgot to do something."

I ran upstairs, grabbing all my prepped ingredients and whisked up my red sauce to pour over everything. As I was scrambling to put everything away, something caught my eye. On the maple syrup jug, there was a face. The face was Jin, a member of the South Korean Pop group, BTS, my daughter's FAVORITE music group for three years strong.
I giggled, then realized there were more. Several actually in the fridge. I started to laugh, loudly. I started looking around, realizing they were everywhere.
Everywhere in my house, Jin's face, including all of the family photos--every face covered with his. I couldn't control myself, tears were streaming from laughter.

Light switches, wall art, the thermostat, she put him everywhere.

At this point, everyone is coming upstairs--"Go outside, mom."
I walk outside, on our front window, looking out, there were life-size faces of all the members of BTS. I lose it, this is too much.

Today, the faces are still everywhere. Each time I see a new one, I laugh. It's good laughter. She may use all our toner this month, but we are cracking up, and that is worth it.

*Notes:

• I was making South Korean Slaw because my daughter loves this band and we've been learning about different foods from South Korea for a while now. This recipe is amazing, I highly recommend it. 
• It was a coincidence that there was a joke going on in my house with a South Korean Pop Music theme, while I was making a South Korean dish. I can't make this stuff up. 
• If you don't know who BTS is, I recommend you go listen. For my girl, they are a great distraction. Used to be a distraction from just normal pre-teenage stuff, now a great distraction from a pandemic. Here is a top ten list with links to their music. 

Dig In the Dirt

As a child, I loved digging in the dirt. I made bark plates, had stick utensils, and used dead trees, puddles, mud, and pine cone parts as ingredients in made-up meals I would mix up. My favorite "kitchen" space was a small stoop on the side of my house that led into our garage. It was the perfect "counter space" and mostly unused by my parents and sister.

I thought about what I would most like to write about today, and digging in the dirt sounded like something I would have wanted to do as my eight or nine-year-old self, the age of my students.

I made a little video of my discoveries. I think I'll make this into a lesson for writing poetry or maybe thinking about how to research things in the dirt. I'll share it with my students sometime next week. Perhaps they will share their own discoveries with me. I hope they will.

First, I looked out at my surroundings.

I then realized I needed a tool for digging. Looking down, I found a hearty stick frozen to the ground. It took a little prying, but I was able to free it from the grass that was holding on.

When I found my spot to dig, I knelt down and realized the top layer of dirt was quite hard. I had to do some scratching first, then I could begin to dig with a bit more success.

And here is the rock I found all cleaned up.

Right Now

I think today I'm going to re-organize my office area in our basement. Which really means, in three days, I'll get right on that. If I'm honest with myself.

I keep making lists and plans for myself, and then other things take precedent, not a big deal.
But, I do actually really hope I can get to this space today.

I have no projects in mind right now. Maybe that's a good thing. I had some before, they spiraled into big projects that ended up fizzling. Good processes to go through, growing processes, but difficult to re-examine, reflect on, and then jump back into.

It also feels like a silly time to focus on something other than the daily present life events. I imagine and watch as everyone scrambles to put together distance learning support and plans. People are pulled to help, I get that. Especially those of us used to helping and being needed. It can also feel a bit reactive as opposed to responsive.

Maybe in the coming days, I'll be feeling more equipped to respond in some way from my desk. Right now, though, I feel like talking to my mom too much, rubbing my daughter's feet, watching my son run, and listening to my husband's crazy singing/dancing routines.

Training

I'm watching my son train on the treadmill for a track season he isn't going to get.
Coach is texting suggestions.
As much as he wants to follow them, he wants to ignore them.

He's angry.
He's worn out.
He keeps working.

I'm watching him as we push him to keep working.
Why?
Who will otherwise?

While he's on the treadmill, we get another email about another cancelation.
A trip scheduled for May in Cleveland.
Refunds are coming.
But disappointment is left in its wake.
One more thing he won't get to do.
One more wave of emotions unprepared for.
Then he's not surprised.

I watch him working for an unknown.
I'm grateful it still matters to him.
I'm not sure how long it will.
Resentment and frustration are becoming more and more real.
More and more challenging to tame.
The running is good for that.

I'm watching my son train on the treadmill for a season of unknowns.

Shifting Gears

I had a list of things to get done yesterday. It wasn't a hard list. It was easy, simple things. Clean this. Cook that. Check this. Read that.
I barely scratched the surface.
I found myself binge-watching Homeland on Hulu. It was very unproductive, but I think it was also just a response to this ridiculous time. A response to being overwhelmed as I feel like I should be doing more to support people around me so therefore I did less.

I think today will be different. I plan on exercising earlier in the day in hopes to springboard my motivation. I'll work to not dwell or escape the situation but instead set some goals for myself. One is a connection goal. What's my plan for staying connected in a more authentic way with my colleagues, my family, my friends? I think a video call/coffee date with my sister might be a wise move.

I found out today my building will be closed off on Friday, no entry allowed until further notice.
The word indefinitely seems to be coming up a lot lately, but not for everything.

Big Change

I'll never forget, I was little, maybe four years old.
My dad called out from the top of the stairs, "Hey, Betsy."

I had never seen my dad without a full beard. I thought a stranger was in my house. I screamed and cried until I was reassured it was my dad. I recognized his voice but not his face.

My husband has had a beard for over twenty-five years. My children have never known him without one. They have seen pictures but never lived with a beardless Shawn/dad.

Last night, Shawn proclaimed, at about 9:30 pm, "I'm just going to go do it."
I wasn't even sure what he meant. But soon enough, I had a good idea.

He came out in stages.

I reminded him, "Remember the story of when my dad shaved his beard? Don't terrify the kids."'
"You were little. They'll be fine."
I think he really thought they would be fine. My daughter is almost 13, and my son will be 15 in a couple months.

Shawn went upstairs, and I heard instant screaming.

"NOooooo!"
"Whyyyyyyyy?"

Then it changed to laughter and my son saying, "Don't come to say goodnight to me tonight."
My daughter continued to occasionally scream and laugh while running away. Even though she knew it was Shawn, it was still so bizarre to her.

Let's just say their shock and surprise even surprised Shawn. 

They've Arrived!

"Hey mom, look."

I looked at my son and noticed he was holding his phone out for me to look at a picture he had taken. He had been in the back yard hosing off his mountain bike that he's hoping to take out later this week.

"What is it," I said squinting.
Then I realized what he was showing me. It was a bit of a blurry picture of fuzzy greens and whites.
"Are those snowdrops?"

"Yeah, there's a whole bunch out back now."

I grabbed my phone, coat, and headed out the back door into the damp and clammy air. It was not a beautiful day today bu tit was made more beautiful by these little lovelies I've been waiting to see all year! 

FINALLY!

Yesterday, part of my list of things to do was to take a walk with my family. I even jogged a little.

We went to a nearby community college that has a small lake with a one-mile path that circles it. We used to bring our kids to this spot when they were in strollers. It was a place we'd go explore. We hadn't found ourselves there for a few years, but being back yesterday was refreshing. I was reminded of first bike rides, fishing with sticks, and tadpole watching from long ago. I had forgotten.

Though it was a bit too cold for tadpoles, it wasn't a surprise that being there brought smiles to all our faces. So, it seemed only appropriate that I would see my first robin of the year while we were there yesterday.

Can you see it?


And seriously, the sounds were like music (hopefully you can hear the background chirps, cheeps, and tweets).

So calming. The crisp air was rejuvenating. I felt my stress melt on that walk. Naturally we will do this again today! Maybe every day for a while.

Today

Yesterday was the last day I'll see my students for at least, what sounds like, a month (three-week recess + spring break). This is, of course, based on what we know two days ago when the governor announced after 11:00pm that the next day would be our last for at least three weeks. It was sooner than expected and difficult to prepare for, but a necessary measure.

I tend to process challenging times through writing but not always with a potential audience. There have been months, years, stages within my life where writing was a good coping mechanism for me as a place to process what I was thinking with more clarity.

Sitting down to my computer this morning, I wanted to write about legitimate examples of crazy--the current situation is one--we tend to overuse the term crazy in our lives these days.
Then I wanted to write about my pattern of sleep last night--sleep, dream, awake, think, drift, sleep, repeat.

Neither of these ideas stuck.

I started to write a letter to myself. Nope.

Then I started thinking about what my plan is right now. What am I going to do to make the best of this for my family? I realized my best plan of action right now was to create a plan, a present-day plan.

Today I will:
Comment on the 18+ tabs of blogs I have at the top of my screen.
Go clean my kitchen and make a delicious late breakfast for everyone and a crockpot meal for dinner.
Drive to a park not far from our house to run/walk a bit with my family.
Choose a good novel to read.
Help my kids make a plan for the mountain of worksheet packets in their backpacks so it won't be so overwhelming.
Create a temporary schedule we can start in a day or two of--work, play, exercise, and downtime.
Take a nap.
Call my mom.
Call my sister.
Make a plan for tomorrow.

What's your plan for today?

Days

It's a "day at a time" kind of time right now. I'm hoping for a sunny day tomorrow and maybe a long walk. Plans made for routines over the next few weeks. Maybe even some time set aside to finish up some home projects.
Today was a day for reassurance and "see ya soon."
Tonight is a night for rest and reset.
Tomorrow is a new day with a new plan.

Passing Through the Pupil

A couple of nights ago, my husband started listing off different titles to see if I knew of any good ones to read. There were a couple I recognized and then he said, On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous.

That title made me stop a moment.

He decided to read that one. It sounded intriguing.

Last night:
"Listen to this, you would love this book."
I was so tired when he started reading to me, but then my ears perked up, and I heard what he was saying a bit clearer.

"Wait, wait go back."

He began again, "You once told me that the human eye is god's loneliest creation."
He continued, and I listened.

“[You once told me that the human eye is god's loneliest creation.] How so much of the world passes through the pupil and still it holds nothing. The eye, alone in its socket, doesn't even know there's another one, just like it, an inch away, just as hungry, as empty.” ― Ocean Vuong, On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous

I listened and started to type some of what he was saying so I wouldn't forget it. I had him read it to me about four times because, as I listened, I had a hard time not feeling blown away by its depth. The truth I felt in listening to the words. The responsibility I felt in hearing them and interpreting them in a way that only a receiver of words can.

I haven't read the book. I don't know all the parts and pieces or even its purpose. The few sentences I have encountered though have me thinking. They mostly have me thinking about what I let sift through my life and what I hold onto.

Choose Your Own Clickbait

My conference for this weekend was canceled. I was presenting two of the three days and had a lot of social plans with colleagues and long time friends. I'm bummed but grateful for the leaders who made the decision. I've been waiting, for the most part, assuming this would occur. Watching the writing on the wall based on what is happening around the world.

I continue to find it odd that so many of my friends who claim it is "no big deal," and say things like, "it's not even here (Michigan)" or compare it to the flu, "the flu is way worse, I don't know why the media is blowing this all out of proportion." These are the same people who tend to use the word "flu" to categorize multiple illnesses--not influenza. These are the same people who spread misinformation like candy at a parade when there is actual information based on facts available.

I wish this was a hoax. I wish it wasn't a concern. I am not paranoid, but I can take precautions and realize that many of those precautions are for the good of those who are more vulnerable. I don't understand how people can call this "hysteria" and question why events are being canceled. It isn't just about you, or you, or me! It's about everyone.

This tweet from Laurie Halse Anderson helped me understand better why cancellations and preventing the spread of the virus is so vital to not only those who will contract the virus but those who need medical care unrelated to the virus.

Maybe this will help you too. I hope.

Let me try to translate my FB #COVID19 post into a tweet. Why are we cancelling March and closing everything? Why should we #StayHomeSlowDown?

This is why.

Source: https://t.co/6z44wTdIrL pic.twitter.com/4vHso2aqVT

— Laurie Halse Anderson (@halseanderson) March 9, 2020

Sun in My Sight

Today was a blue sky, sunshine blinding day. We've had a couple now and I must say they never get old. As I perused an old notebook this evening, I read some poems. It always surprises me to read a poem I wrote a year or two ago and suddenly I remember where I was. One of the poems I read tonight was from a trip this past summer. I decided to read, rewrite, and revise a bit of this one. It makes me excited to imagine trips for the summer in the woods, on the beach, in my beautiful state.

How could I use
even my best words on this place?
I would waste them,
as they could never
measure these feelings.
Beauty? No.
Amazement? No.
The blues, too blue to conceive a name.
The greens, too emerald to compare.
The caps, too ivory to explain
and the rock dotted sand
corse on my heals I won't dare
describe the discomfort.
But it melts in the yellow and
rides with the ripples
carrying glimmers of everlasting light
and my gratitude on the waves.

Where Are You?

I've read posts, tweets, and slices about people seeing their first robin of spring. Now I realize it isn't technically spring, so maybe I have some time and shouldn't be too concerned. However, this time of year I tend to get really vigilant in trying to find my first robin of the year.
Where will I be?
When will I see it?
Will I hear one first or see one first?

I thought for sure I would see one this past weekend.
Nope.
It's a bit lighter outside on our drive to school, so surely I'll see one while stopped or somewhere on our way.
Nope.
No robins for me yet.
For me, seeing a robin is a true turning point. It is a sign and symbol of sunny days ahead. Assurance of warmth to come as more birds re-enter my living spaces.
I can't help but wonder when my robin will find me.