I decided late last night to take the morning off today. After getting my sub plans around, communicating with colleagues, and putting in for a sub, I went to bed later than I desired. Surprisingly, I slept well over an hour past my usual wake-up time. I needed the rest.
I stayed home to be with my daughter, who has been experiencing many health issues and discomfort. Being home allowed me to get some things set up that I've been meaning to get to, such as putting together a small seated pedal exercise machine. This allows her to exercise while sitting. I also made some bingo cards with lots of self-care/healthy choices. The goal is two bingoes a day. Surprisingly, the bingo cards were a hit and very motivating. Another great surprise.
By 10:30 this morning, I was feeling pulled to stay home all day, as I could see that if I left midday, we might be met with setbacks. So, I called my school, and to my surprise, the sub who was covering my morning could stay all day.
I had many sweet surprises today. I'm going back to work tomorrow, but the meeting planned for after school has already been canceled, so another good surprise that gets me home earlier to the people who need me most.
Life has been showing me many cards lately.
The good.
The bad.
You know the rest.
As much as work can be both stressful and rewarding, I have some incredible colleagues who help keep the stressful parts--lighter.
It's funny the things you hear outside of a classroom.
I was minding my business at my desk when I heard, "Maybe Betsy needs an embrace."
I raised my head to see Carrie with Theresa outside my door, stifling a silly laugh. These are my "heart hand" friends. Anytime we begin to feel that, is this really happening, feeling that you get in school when you are an adult surrounded by teenagers, we just throw up our hands in the shape of a heart, and it makes it okay.
Carrie came in and told me the crazy story about hugging that was occurring in a classroom down the hall. So naturally, we hugged, laughed, and laughed more because it was a Monday, and why not?
Today is an untitled day
a down day
full of clouds
streams of rain
down my face.
Trying to manifest
an up day
full of open sky
warm summer air
on my cheeks.
Today was so very blah. I made lists in my head of positive things. And on their own, they are positive; I'm so grateful, but today still held a space for dullness. I took some medicine for the headache. I took a nap to escape. I took a walk to get my head up. Tonight, I'll sleep it all away and look forward to a brand new day.
You wouldn't have caught me teaching summer school a year or more ago. After a challenging year, I was surprised I signed up. To my surprise, summer school has been wonderful. Today, we took a walking field trip to the college library in town. The library was empty, and although we had a small group, we quickly lost control during our exploration. A reminder that a library is the best place to play hide-and-seek, whether you plan to or not. Shrieks and giggles echoed. We couldn't help but laugh. After three floors of peek-a-boos, loud directive whispers, and blocked elevators, we all made it down to play math games and roll some story dice.
The difference between regular school and summer school, at least in my situation, is the freedom. We are focusing on skills, we have a small group, and it's a half day. There's no set curriculum, no timelines, unlimited popsicles, and the kids can take a break whenever it's needed. Needs can be met, we can laugh, and work at our own pace. Kind of a teacher's dream.
It's the first Monday after school is out and I find myself at a table of colleagues for a leadership conference. Truthfully, I was not mentally prepared for the silliness that consumed the first hour or two and found myself checking out a bit. It wasn't the presenters fault, their energy was celebratory, kind of cheesy, and there were many attempts at metaphors--like literally wearing a life jacket to make a point. It was likely very similar to my seventh graders feelings when I am enthusiastic about something and they are completely over it.
To calm my pretty unreasonable frustration I went back a to a poem I found a few days ago. The poem I shared for the call to slices today at TWT. I copied it down and then continued to write as I listened to one speaker, change to another. It helped me feel productive and also calmed my mind a bit.
thoughts at the table
Sitting and imagining the sun, the water, the rain.
It brings me to a place that feels
comforting
known
understood.
Where I've been
and
where I'm going.
Writing my message to the world
I'm finally hearing words that
resonate
feel warm
relevant.
The abrasive switched to smooth.
Knowledge for knowledge's sake
and not for
performance.
I'm not sure what type of tired I am right now, but its symptoms are mixed. I've been the kind of tired that is only realized when I finally sit and feel a sense of relief I didn't know I needed—the kind of tired where thirst and hunger are unrecognized. I have one half day left with students and maybe a full day's worth of hours to finish this school year. It's been a year deserving of extra rest and care. It's been a year of learning and revelations. It's been a year. I'm ready to rest.
