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Tuesday, October 7, 2014

My Words Were Lost


I sort of feel like I've been in a breakup. I used to write a poem almost everyday. If not everyday I had a line or something I was working on. This was a time in my life where words were flowing easily. I haven't written a poem in months and it has begun to haunt me a bit. I've been looking for them but I've been uninspired.
I used to search for birds everyday near a pond on my drive to work. When I was fluidly writing poetry, even if my poem wasn't about them, they seemed to get words flowing. But, the birds have not been there. The cranes, the egrets, the blue heron, they have been gone. I still look everyday. This past Friday my son said, "Mom, I just saw three cranes." I replied with a somber, "Really?" If I hadn't already been running late it would have been one of those days I would have turned around. But I didn't. I continued to live the day uninspired. I really didn't believe he saw them anyway, why would they decide to show up now?
This morning there was a thick mist rising from the pond and it caught my eye. I looked out to see the sunlight attempting to burn off the fog and it created this blanket of light. Standing there under the warmth of this morning were three cranes. One with his head up and two with their heads down. They were standing like a single statue in that mist, as though they were all part of one piece of art. Then the other two slowly raised their heads and the three stood at the edge of the water together, looking at what, I'll never know. I like to think they were looking at me. Like they found me. Like they had been searching too.

I've been looking
under rocks
in the wet leaves
at the cranes that reach
their necks high in the sun
and low in the grass.
I didn't find you.
I thought you were in their shadow
hiding among the blades
but instead I found dew.

Near the pond I sit
waiting on this breeze block
wondering if you will show
in the ripples of this water
in the grains of this sand
and when I look out across
these reflected clouds
I see you on the other side,
the other side of these words.

8 comments:

  1. :)) Love this writing Betsy, because sometimes we lose our words. . .we lose our focus. . .we lose our inspiration. . .we just get busy. Then something reminds us, and we start looking for it again. I feel like this a lot lately about so many things :)

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  2. I've been focusing on so many writing projects that I haven't had the time to just let the words flow in a notebook like I used to allow them to. Maybe you need to join the 5 a.m. writer's club. (There's a hashtag for it on Twitter.) Writing early in the day used to be my magic bullet.

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  3. You are such a gifted writer. I always love reading your words.

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  4. That last line 'the other side of those words" is wonderful, Betsy. We do live so fast, we forget to notice. I'm so glad you found the birds.

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  5. I love your analogy to being in a break up. I have felt the same way about my writing. I'm going to check into Stacy's suggestion about the 5 am writing club. Your words are very inspiring. Thank you for that.

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