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Thursday, March 16, 2017

Day Sixteen of Thirty-One: Not My Story

I have grown a better understanding of perspective over the past several months following the fire. As a family we went through a shocking, terrifying, and traumatic event. One that you tell your children not to worry about. One that you attempt to prevent at all costs. One that you think about and then shake off because the odds of it happening are so unlikely.

Then something like this happens. When it does you think you all have the same version, the same story. However, as I began to process the story for myself, with my husband, and with my children I realized, their stories were not my story. We all experienced each moment differently.

Each image different.

Each memory different.

I always knew, even when I had gone through something similar to an experience of someone else, I didn't truly understand what the person was going through. However, I think, secretly we still sometimes think we get it. We don't. We never can. As much as I want to grieve and take it all on for my children and husband, I can't. It would be too much and it would also stunt their process.

It's difficult to go through something on our own but I think it is truly more difficult to watch your family struggle. Something else I know for sure...when this is over, we will all be better. We will all be stronger. We will all be closer. We will be grateful we struggled through it together because really watching others rise helps us all rise.


  1. Betsy,
    Your feelings are a reality, your view is your own, and your family is blessed to have each other. I have not had the pleasure of meeting your husband and kids but I know they're amazing because they all love you! Isn't is amazing how many perspectives there are for one story?

  2. This is an honest, heartfelt post tonight. It speaks such truth,though it's not often thought about. Your insight is deep and we are all better for reading it. Hugs

  3. No one wants an event like the one you had to bring them closer to their family, but you're right. It will bind you together in a way that will make all of you stronger in the years to come.

    I'm sorry I haven't visited more often this month, Betsy. (I'm catching up now.)

  4. Such a fascinating idea that one family tragedy is not one story- each person has their own version and perspective. I wish I had the right words but all I can say is your writing this month has been revealing, open, and stellar.

  5. Your words filled my eyes. Tears. For your heartfelt honesty and hope.